Protect Yourself

“#ProtectYourself2017”

By: Kayla Denise Thomas

Have any of you heard the song “I Know” by Big Sean and Jhene Aiko? How about “Take Care” by Drake and Rihanna? Well, whether you have or not, turn it on and grab your favorite type of tea (I prefer Green Tea with Pomegranate), turn one or both on and let’s have a talk.

Now, it is 2017, we are fresh into a new year and we are all grown here right? Alright, so why are some people out here still playing games?

When I say playing games, I wish I was talking about a friendly game of Uno but I’m not. Why are people out here playing games with people’s hearts, emotions, time, etc? Why is that still a thing?

Although it’s well into January, pretty much mid-month, I’m still seeing the hashtags #WasteHisTime2017 and #WasteHerTime2017 floating around the social media networks. Really? Why is this still going around?

Apparently to some this is just good fun, a good read, or just humorous. Not going to lie, when I watched Alonzo Lerone’s video from last year on the “Waste His Time” thing I found it funny for a little bit but then it started to set in, why is this really going around?

Then it donned on me, some people actually think these are some good ideas to mess with men and women this way. Some people are actually taking these as pointers and applying them to real life, like they are a relationship teaching point.

Playing with the heart and emotions of a person is not okay. Once you start playing games, you likely won’t be able to stop. You just keep moving up in levels, making him/her feel good, making them feel special. Then you up your degree of difficulty, you start buying them things and doing all this stuff with them. Around this time, normal relationships take it to the next level, but not with these game players. These game players then cheat, do or say something and then follow it with one or more of the following phrases.

“We aren’t serious.”

“You aren’t the only one.”

“You aren’t my main.”

“You aren’t my girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“What you thought I was going to be your man/woman?”

I think you guys get the picture.

Why do people honestly think these games are cool? Seriously, I would love to know. Maybe not always, but in many cases, this begins a domino effect. When you play with a person, that person will feel like it will always happen. Then that person will think, “If they can play, I can play too.” Maybe not in those exact words, but they may start to dabble in playing. Next thing you know, when it comes to their next attempt at an actual relationship, they will probably have a couple of people on the side so if the next person plays them or screw up they can just go on to the next one. Now, I know you guys don’t all want to be nothing but side pieces in life. Stop playing around with these people!

Being played by someone can hurt like no other. It can put you in the state of mind that it will always happen or that there is no person out there for you. It can make you so hesitant that when you do find someone who could possibly be good for you, you can’t open up, because the last time you did you were hurt.

Sadly, this happens so much nowadays because everyone is out to protect themselves but also have the benefits of being in a relationship. My mom and I describe it as, “Everyone wants to play house, but not everyone wants to build a foundation.” I’m no relationship expert by no means and I’m not perfect, I’ve had my fair share of players coming my way, but you eventually have to pick yourself up and move on.

Now moving on isn’t always about immediately moving on to the next romantic relationship but moving into a loving relationship with yourself. After something like this, you need to remind yourself how in love you are with YOU. You have to love yourself so much that you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love me, and because I love me, I’m going to take care of me first before seeking someone else that can love me.” Go on a relationship fast and devote yourself to all the things that make you happy and when you do try again, find someone who is willing to build that foundation with you and not just play House.

The time for playing House is over guys, we aren’t in kindergarten anymore. Many of us are trailblazing our own paths and are looking for someone to build with us. If you want to play games, pick up a controller but don’t pick up hearts.