Protect Yourself
Have any of you heard the song “I Know” by Big Sean and Jhene Aiko? How about “Take Care” by Drake and Rihanna? Well, whether you have or not, turn it on and grab your favorite type of tea (I prefer Green Tea with Pomegranate), turn one or both on and let’s have a talk.
“#ProtectYourself2017”
By: Kayla Denise Thomas
Have any of you heard the song “I Know” by Big Sean and Jhene Aiko? How about “Take Care” by Drake and Rihanna? Well, whether you have or not, turn it on and grab your favorite type of tea (I prefer Green Tea with Pomegranate), turn one or both on and let’s have a talk.
Now, it is 2017, we are fresh into a new year and we are all grown here right? Alright, so why are some people out here still playing games?
When I say playing games, I wish I was talking about a friendly game of Uno but I’m not. Why are people out here playing games with people’s hearts, emotions, time, etc? Why is that still a thing?
Although it’s well into January, pretty much mid-month, I’m still seeing the hashtags #WasteHisTime2017 and #WasteHerTime2017 floating around the social media networks. Really? Why is this still going around?
Apparently to some this is just good fun, a good read, or just humorous. Not going to lie, when I watched Alonzo Lerone’s video from last year on the “Waste His Time” thing I found it funny for a little bit but then it started to set in, why is this really going around?
Then it donned on me, some people actually think these are some good ideas to mess with men and women this way. Some people are actually taking these as pointers and applying them to real life, like they are a relationship teaching point.
Playing with the heart and emotions of a person is not okay. Once you start playing games, you likely won’t be able to stop. You just keep moving up in levels, making him/her feel good, making them feel special. Then you up your degree of difficulty, you start buying them things and doing all this stuff with them. Around this time, normal relationships take it to the next level, but not with these game players. These game players then cheat, do or say something and then follow it with one or more of the following phrases.
“We aren’t serious.”
“You aren’t the only one.”
“You aren’t my main.”
“You aren’t my girlfriend/boyfriend.”
“What you thought I was going to be your man/woman?”
I think you guys get the picture.
Why do people honestly think these games are cool? Seriously, I would love to know. Maybe not always, but in many cases, this begins a domino effect. When you play with a person, that person will feel like it will always happen. Then that person will think, “If they can play, I can play too.” Maybe not in those exact words, but they may start to dabble in playing. Next thing you know, when it comes to their next attempt at an actual relationship, they will probably have a couple of people on the side so if the next person plays them or screw up they can just go on to the next one. Now, I know you guys don’t all want to be nothing but side pieces in life. Stop playing around with these people!
Being played by someone can hurt like no other. It can put you in the state of mind that it will always happen or that there is no person out there for you. It can make you so hesitant that when you do find someone who could possibly be good for you, you can’t open up, because the last time you did you were hurt.
Sadly, this happens so much nowadays because everyone is out to protect themselves but also have the benefits of being in a relationship. My mom and I describe it as, “Everyone wants to play house, but not everyone wants to build a foundation.” I’m no relationship expert by no means and I’m not perfect, I’ve had my fair share of players coming my way, but you eventually have to pick yourself up and move on.
Now moving on isn’t always about immediately moving on to the next romantic relationship but moving into a loving relationship with yourself. After something like this, you need to remind yourself how in love you are with YOU. You have to love yourself so much that you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love me, and because I love me, I’m going to take care of me first before seeking someone else that can love me.” Go on a relationship fast and devote yourself to all the things that make you happy and when you do try again, find someone who is willing to build that foundation with you and not just play House.
The time for playing House is over guys, we aren’t in kindergarten anymore. Many of us are trailblazing our own paths and are looking for someone to build with us. If you want to play games, pick up a controller but don’t pick up hearts.
DIY Valentine’s
Growing up, I was about as anti-Valentine’s Day as one could possibly be. I went through elementary doing the traditional “buy a box of valentines for the whole class” with the only person getting a real card being my best friend.
“DIY Valentine’s”
By: Kayla Denise Thomas
As we enter into the month of February, there is a day that many are looking forward to, Valentine’s Day.
Growing up, I was about as anti-Valentine’s Day as one could possibly be. I went through elementary doing the traditional “buy a box of valentines for the whole class” with the only person getting a real card being my best friend. As I grew up, getting into middle and high school, the school I then attended would sell “candy grams” and flowers for the students. My friends at the time and I would buy candy for each other.
It all felt like the Bachelor to me or more like the scene in Mean Girls where the guy is giving out the candy canes and Gretchen doesn’t get one. I never received that “coveted” flower.
While on the road of self-discovery, I decided that I would do something for myself. I would be my own Valentine.
While many may think this sounds self-absorbed or even just down right crazy, it’s not the wildest of notions. You should love yourself and spoil yourself every once and a while. Just because all the couples are being all lovey-dovey and everything doesn’t mean you can’t be lovey-dovey towards yourself.
Self-love is one of the best feelings you could have about yourself but of course you don’t have to just love yourself on February 14th but why not treat yourself.
Pamper Yourself
V-Day this year falls on a Tuesday, so if you can’t take the day off, you can do something the weekend before! Get your hair and nails done, purchase a spa package, or just do some R&R at home. Throw in a little yoga routine focusing on the heart chakra if that’s something that interests you.
Spoil Yourself
Something that couples and friends do for Valentine’s Day is but their person something. Why not buy yourself something? Whether it’s that pair of booties that’s been sitting in your cart on ASOS forever or maybe the latest sneakers just dropped and you just have to cop them. Go ahead!
Treat Yourself
Some people go out to eat for Valentine’s Day. Why not go on a date with yourself at your favorite restaurant? It’s not a bad thing to go out to eat by yourself and it’s definitely not pathetic (society sometimes thinks that but we don’t conform to society do we?) Hey, think of it this way, you don’t have to share that dessert with anyone and forget having to ask anyone for the last roll, it’s all yours!
“Surprise” Yourself
Who said someone else had to be the one to surprise you with flowers or chocolate. Have some flowers delivered to yourself or buy some from a market for yourself. Yeah, it sounds weird but hey, loving yourself isn’t wrong!
Unplug and Chill
One day of not surfing up and down your various social feeds won’t kill you. It may be a lot of the same stuff anyway! Selfies going out, couples pics, ads, and single awareness day posts. Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and binge watch some Netflix or On Demand. I hear there is some good stuff coming to Netflix this month.
All in all, Valentine’s Day doesn’t always have to be about your love for someone else or their love for you. Sometimes you could just use a little you time. Loving you and doing you.