“What Love Feels Like”
By: Kayla Denise Thomas
“I can spend the rest of my life loving one person and building with that person.” ~ Deni after this past weekend.
When you’re in your early twenties or even in your late teens, you may think you know what love is. You may know the depths of which love is. You may even be able to give good relationship advice but for whatever reason, many people will look at you and probably write you off because of your age and say that you don’t know what love is, but more of the fact that you know about infatuation.
Or maybe you’re like me, 21 and been giving her take on relationship advice since she was in her middle school years.
I didn’t have a boyfriend for majority of the times that I’ve given relationship advice, come to think of it, I rarely had a boyfriend when I gave advice. Oh well, it happens.
What is love?
As anyone and their definition and expectations will all vary from person to person. Personal experiences also can change your perception of love whether it’s positive or negative. Personally, let’s just say it could be quite easy for me to have a bitter outlook on love due to personal experiences but I don’t.
So I ask again what is love?
At the moment love to me is when someone enjoys spending time with you even if you two are doing the most mundane thing in the world like just sitting in a room talking and soaking up the moments of being next to each other. Love is when they’ve had a tough, trying, or long day and that person still manages to make it to you to keep a date. Love is when small things like holding hands, kisses, or hugs carry more weight because you aren’t in the same city. Love is when looking into that person’s eyes shows you a life you didn’t know you could have. With them.
Love is something moving, something that when you are in the final moments leading up to seeing them that you are just so filled with anxiousness and nerves like everything isn’t moving fast enough to get you to them. Love is knowing that even when you fall short or at least feeling like you have, they let remind you that you’re only human and that it’s okay. Love is also when they know how to push you to be the best version of yourself and to leave your insecurities in the rearview mirror.
Often I’ve been told that I don’t know what love is and that’s true.
I don’t know what love is to you. I can only give you my experience and my opinion. Love is what you will find on your own, in your time, in yourself and eventually in your person.
Through the experiences of myself and those around me, love isn’t something you search for. It’s something that finds you by accident when you stop looking for it. It’s something that takes your breath away when you think of how it found you and not about how you searched for it. It’s the kind of thing that makes you go “Hmmm that’s like us,” when you hear a love song (mine for us right now is “Finally” by Bell Biv Devoe.)
Something else I’ve learned about love in my short time around the sun is that it’s definitely worth waiting for but not worth closing yourself off from.
Waiting for the right type of love from the right person is key, it may not come in the timing you want (like in “Baggage Claim” with Paula Patton) but it may come in the time you least expected it and stopped looking (like in “Jumping the Broom” also with Paula Patton.)
While waiting, it’s important to not close yourself off from love. Just because the previous (or previous insert number here) were not so good for you doesn’t mean that whoever’s next is going to wrong you. If you aren’t ready for that love, make sure you shower yourself with self-love. Hey, self-love is the best love. Take care of yourself and know it’ll come in time.
All in all, love is beautiful, kind, and patient. We just have to be patient when it comes to finding our true love. He or She is out there, just have to wait and let it happen. I leave you with this:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” ~ 1 Corinthians 6:9-11